i've never been the same since the care bears were cancelled from tv. i can catch it in syndication, but we both know it's not the same. according to my counselor, my crush for smurfette is responsible for the years of mental instability and tissue abuse. through the comfort and support of my little farm animal 'companions', i've made great strides into becoming a better person. i hope one day to live in a world where gortex will replace wool as the major clothing substance.

professional butt scratcher

yarn spinning, ballet, hop scotch champion from 96-99 (my reign ended after an unfortunate tetherball incident...)